Lighter pictures from Haircut

Here are some lighter pictures. So what do you think?

Haircut from 7/1

Wow these turned out dark...

Haircut on 6/12

Before Back

Before Front

After Back

After Front

Owen 65th Anniversary pictures!

Doing some catching up... This is from the my Grandparents 65th Wedding Anniversary Party on May 9th 2009!

STUFF!

Hubby got most everything listed this morning.

Shirts:
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/clo/1224521267.html (clothing & accessories)

Dust buster, iced coffee set, stationery set; microwave cookware
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224504697.html (household items)

Baby Bottle warmer:
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1224497262.html (baby & kid stuff)

Pentax camera
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224489563.html (household items)

Wine opener set
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224486732.html (household items)

Microwave cookware
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224466799.html (household items)

Lightning McQueen stuff
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1224457866.html (baby & kid stuff)

Case Logic organizers
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224450078.html (household items)

Toddler shoes
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1224409199.html (baby & kid stuff)

Craft wood pieces
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224391467.html (household items)

Co-sleeper
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1224360365.html (baby & kid stuff)

Waffle iron
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224357149.html (household items)

Ice shaver
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224353907.html (household items)

Personal tea pot and cup
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224351679.html (household items)

Salad/fruit chiller
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224413281.html (household items)

Saucier:
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224419249.html (household items)

Fountain
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224416234.html (household items)

Filing cabinet
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/fuo/1224385948.html (furniture - by owner)

BBQ grill
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/for/1224382418.html (general for sale)

King size bedding set
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/hsh/1224378508.html (household items)

Medela Pump in Style
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1224344785.html (baby & kid stuff)

Boppy Pillow
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/bab/1224341116.html (baby & kid stuff)

Bowling ball bag
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/spo/1224326053.html (sporting goods)

Shelf
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/fuo/1224321795.html (furniture - by owner)

Keyboards
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/sys/1224318816.html (computers & tech)

Hammock

This is the Hammock in our living room! Uncle Mike was visiting for Dylan's birthday.

He really does love her!

Even though they fight I know he loves her!

From the office window

A little bird was "stealing" from our window box.

"Fishing"

LIFE IS GOOD PICTURES 2009!

Click to view the slide show!

Catch up

I will be catching up soon. I have taken some time off. I am thinking about redoing the Blog. Not sure yet...

Loved LIG and seeing everyone. So many thoughts swirling around.

Daily OM... perfect timing!

Today's Daily Om...

This is perfect timing since LIFE is good started today!

May 21, 2009

A Life of Learning
Earth School

Life is the province of learning, and the wisdom we acquire throughout our lives is the reward of existence. As we traverse the winding roads that lead from birth to death, experience is our patient teacher. We exist, bound to human bodies as we are, to evolve, enrolled by the universe in earth school, an informal and individualized academy of living, being, and changing. Life’s lessons can take many forms and present us with many challenges. There are scores of mundane lessons that help us learn to navigate with grace, poise, and tolerance in this world. And there are those once-in-a-lifetime lessons that touch us so deeply that they change the course of our lives. The latter can be heartrending, and we may wander through life as unwilling students for a time. But the quality of our lives is based almost entirely on what we derive from our experiences.

Earth school provides us with an education of the heart and the soul, as well as the intellect. The scope of our instruction is dependent on our ability and readiness to accept the lesson laid out before us in the circumstances we face. When we find ourselves blindsided by life, we are free to choose to close our minds or to view the inbuilt lesson in a narrow-minded way. The notion that existence is a never-ending lesson can be dismaying at times. The courses we undertake in earth school can be painful as well as pleasurable, and as taxing as they are eventually rewarding. However, in every situation, relationship, or encounter, a range of lessons can be unearthed. When we choose to consciously take advantage of each of the lessons we are confronted with, we gradually discover that our previous ideas about love, compassion, resilience, grief, fear, trust, and generosity could have been half-formed.

Ultimately, when we acknowledge that growth is an integral part of life and that attending earth school is the responsibility of every individual, the concept of "life as lesson" no longer chafes. We can openly and joyfully look for the blessing buried in the difficulties we face without feeling that we are trapped in a roller-coaster ride of forced learning. Though we cannot always know when we are experiencing a life lesson, the wisdom we accrue will bless us with the keenest hindsight.

LIFE is good!

The third annual "LIFE is Good" Northwest Unschooling Conference will be taking place just outside of Portland this year, May 21-24th, 2009.
http://www.lifeisgoodconference.com

This is truly an unschooling conference - there are no "experts" lecturing, and no "curriculum" or "educational" items being feverishly pitched. Families are the experts and fun is the name of the game - every activity is for the whole family, children are the feature of the event and everything is open to them. The speakers are either parents of unschooled children, or grown unschoolers themselves. There are also more intimate interactive circle chats on a wide range of topics, and loads of "Funshops" - like workshops, only so much more FUN - where you can discover new talents and skills, or share one of your own! The unschooling talent show is always a huge hit, as is the big family barefoot boogie dance! Folks of all ages can hock their handmade wares at the "Un"trepreneurial Fair. And Amy Steinberg, who performed a fabulously energetic concert last year will be back to do it again this year:
http://www.myspace.com/amysteinberg

And because we cannot bear to part at the end of all this fun, we spend the Monday picnicing at a terrific nearby park.

Dads are a huge part of the event too, speaking, leading funshops, and having gatherings of their own that are sometimes referred to by the beverage-inspired moniker "SSUD"s (the Secret Society of Unschooling Dads).

It is a pretty cool feeling just to be surrounded by families of all ages who live unschooling every day, and totally get your life without you having to explain a thing! We literally take over the hotel, which is a sight in itself.

For a sneak peek at what the conference looks like, check out these videos from past years.
2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txdBOES235k
2007: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyysoHMuz_o&feature=channel_page

En route, Seattle and Portland both offer amazing museums, science centers, zoos, and children's museums. It is the perfect excuse for a road trip!
Check out the conference website for all the details on speakers, main presentations, circle chats, funshops, registration, hotel reservations, FAQs, etc. (http://www.lifeisgoodconference.com/).

There is also a Yahoo Group set up for questions, chatter, intros, ideas, etc. (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LifeisGoodconference/)

You are encouraged to pass this message along to any other lists/ people you think might find it of interest.

Grandparents!

Hi All!

My Grandparents in the newspaper! You can even sign the guestbook.

Just in case you didn’t get the paper or see this!

http://www.legacy.com/Columbian/Celebrations.asp?Page=Announcement&PersonID=126797384

Little Things DO matter!

Little things DO matter!

Thank you everyone for the Birthday wishes!

It was a wonderful day! Full of Love!

Hubby make homemade multigrain pancakes with blueberries and whip cream and BACON on the side. mmmmmmm BACON! Bill made me the sweetest card with COUPONS! :-) And the kids colored pages for me as their card. Then we went out to lunch with the kids. Then ran some errands. Fun huh? Well I enjoy running errand with the family. Hubby and the kids were even sneaky and got me BEAUTIFUL red ROSES and a new little camera to try out. Oh and we went by the airport twice just to watch the airplanes land and take off.

Then we came home to have dinner and my parents brought over yummy dessert a cute card (I think it was really for the kids!) and a few other things…I got a few phone calls (Thanks Lela, Stephanie and Grandma Gibson) and a card in the mail (Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Owen). My sister had stopped by when we were out and left a couple of sweet cards and some beautiful mixed flowers and tulips.

The kids had so much fun before, during, and after dinner playing with Grandma and Grandpa telling jokes and having a dance party, swinging in the hammock, playing in the box tunnel, and doing kids yoga. Took a while for bed but that is OK.

To top it off…Hubby is taking me to dinner tonight!

This day...

Happy Birthday!

2 April 1974
Your date of conception was on or about 10 July 1973 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 9.

Your fortune cookie reads:
A single kind word will keep one warm for years.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2442139.5.
The golden number for 1974 is 18.
The epact number for 1974 is 6.
The year 1974 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/23/1974 and ending 2/10/1975.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Tiger.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Hawk; your plant is Dandelion.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 10 Nisan 5734.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 11 Nisan 5734.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.0.12.15 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 0 tun 12 uinal 15 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 9 Rabi'u'l-Avval 1394 (1394-3-9).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 14 April 1974.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 14 April 1974.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 27 February 1974.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 2 June 1974.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 9 June 1974.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 17 September 1974.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Sunday, 7 April 1974.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 26 February 1974.

As of 4/2/2009 12:11:33 PM EST
You are 35 years old.
You are 420 months old.
You are 1,826 weeks old.
You are 12,784 days old.
You are 306,828 hours old.
You are 18,409,691 minutes old.
You are 1,104,581,493 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Ron 'Horshack' Palillo (1954) Emmylou Harris (1947) Linda Hunt (1945)
Marvin Gaye (1939) Jack Webb (1920) Alec Guinness (1914)
Buddy Ebsen (1908) Hans Christian Andersen (1805)

Top songs of 1974
The Way We Were by Barbra Streisand Seasons In the Sun by Terry Jacks
The Streak by Ray Stevens Having My Baby by Paul Anka
Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas Billy, Don't Be a Hero by Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods
Annie's Song by John Denver The Loco-Motion by Grand Funk
TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia) by MFSB with the Three Degrees I Can Help by Billy Swan

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 5.00352250489237 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

Your lucky day is Tuesday.
Your lucky number is 9.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mars & Pluto.
Your lucky dates are 9th, 18th, 27th.
Your opposition sign is Libra.
Your opposition number(s) is 6.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 365 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 36 candles.

Those 36 candles produce 36 BTUs,
or 9,072 calories of heat (that's only 9.0720 food Calories!) .
You can boil 4.11 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1974 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1974 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1974 in the US there were approximately 2,158,802 marriages (10.6%) and 708,000 divorces (3.5%)
In 1974 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1974 the population of Australia was approximately 13,831,978.
In 1974 there were approximately 245,177 births in Australia.
In 1974 in Australia there were approximately 110,673 marriages and 17,688 divorces.
In 1974 in Australia there were approximately 115,833 deaths.

Your birth flower is DAISY

Your birthstone is Diamond

The Mystical properties of Diamond

Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire

Your birth tree is

Rowan, the Sensitivity
Full of charm, cheerful, gifted, without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.



There are 267 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 280 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.



Click on the picture
for more information.

Birthday Meme

The instructions:

1) Go to Wikipedia
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.
3) List three events that happened on your birthday
4) List two important birthdays and one death
5) One holiday or observance (if any)

Here are mine:

Three things that happened on my birthday

1902 - "Electric Theatre", the first full-time movie theater in the United States, opens in Los Angeles, California.

1917 - The first woman ever elected to the U.S. Congress, Jeannette Rankin, takes her seat as a representative from Montana.

1975 - Construction of the CN Tower is completed in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It reaches 553.33 metres (1,815.4 ft) in height, becoming the world's tallest free-standing structure.


Two important birthdays

1743 - Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States (Old style date) (d. 1826)

1947 - Emmylou Harris, American singer

one death

2005 - Pope John Paul II (b. 1920)

one holiday

International Children's Book Day

I wish every parent would read this...

This is no April Fools joke. It is really good!

The Sparkling Martins - Down with obedience

Dan Seals

I am so sad about his passing... so in his honor here are a few videos

99 Sensory Activities For Any Child

TWENTY ALTERNATIVES TO PUNISHMENT

TWENTY ALTERNATIVES TO PUNISHMENT

No Problem!

:: No Problem! ::

Having a "bad parenting day"?

Whatever you're stressing about -- your child won't
stop whining... you're way behind on the laundry...
the baby nursed "all" night long... you yelled at the
kids *again*... etc., etc. -- remember there are two
components to every problem:

1. The actual condition
2. Your *belief* that it IS a problem

In other words, you don't *have to* perceive the
condition to be wrong or bad.

Would a baby see your mountain of dirty laundry as a
problem? No, because wee ones see the world AS IT IS.
They haven't been trained (yet) to pass judgment on
Reality, so they don't see the problems we see.

Well, if a baby can do it, you can, too! :-)

Today, try letting go of the idea that conditions
"should" be different than they are. Simply accept
them...

"No problem... It is what it is."

But don't confuse acceptance with defeat. You can be
accepting and still desire change. And change happens
*easily* when you're at peace with What Is.

http://dailygroove.net/no-problem

--> Get "The Daily Groove" book!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2009 by Scott Noelle

If you are a parent of more than one...

I just read this amazing article!

Invisible Tteaching

:: Invisible Teaching ::

The problem with teaching children *explicitly* is
that we are rarely aware of what we are teaching
them *implicitly*.

For example, if you tell your children to say
"thank you," the implicit lesson is that expressing
gratitude is something they *should* do whether they
feel like it or not -- not something that comes
naturally.

Better to say "thank you" yourself -- to model the
appropriate behavior *joyfully*. Joy is attractive
and, eventually, they'll want in on the fun!

Your child doesn't internalize what you *say* as
much as the *energy* with which you say it. Pay
close attention to how you feel and you'll notice
that teaching often carries a subtle vibe that
feels "yucky."

So when you must teach explicitly, clean up your
energy first. Otherwise you might be teaching the
wrong lesson!

When you teach by example, you are following the
advice of Gandhi who said, "you must BE the change
you wish to see..."

http://dailygroove.net/invisible-teaching

--> Get "The Daily Groove" book!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2009 by Scott Noelle

Happy Valentines'sDay!

Aren't they cute!

Causes of ADHD - Maryland May Ban Food Additives Linked to ADHD - thedailygreen.com

Causes of ADHD - Maryland May Ban Food Additives Linked to ADHD - thedailygreen.com

Posted using ShareThis

This is just Awesome!

Peanut recall!

25 more things!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.) If you can't find "notes" click the "+" sign it will be under there.

Here goes:

1. I love my children I really do! I love being a SAHM! And miss them terribly when I am away from them. Although sometimes I wish we had better babysitter situation. Anyone?

2. I am still nursing my little one almost 2.5 years now.

3. I love chocolate, good chocolate, good coffee and tea.

4. I had trouble learning to read. And now amazed at my son who seems to love to read and get it so much better than I did.

5. I have never been out of the USA. Except Mexico (in my Mothers tummy) and Canada twice (Niagara Falls and the Washington State Boarder)

6.My husband is a much better cook than I, and I love him so much for that, otherwise I might starve. LOL

7. I like to clean, really I am a clean freak and I like to organize. I had a boss call me anal and I had no idea what it meant and hated that word.

8. I was on Mt. Saint Helens when it blew.

9. I don't really like Doctors (mainly because I don't feel like they listen to me and just want to throw a pill at me), but I love my chiropractor!

10. I morn the loss of a few relationships that I wish were better.

11. I have dreams that have come true.

12. My whole family sleeps in one room. We co sleep and love it.

13. I used to go dancing 5 nights a week. I miss it some days.

14.I have lived in 4 states. CA, WA, NV, RI.

15.I really feel conflicted about unresolved conflicts.

16. My husband is my best friend.

17. I don't like the smell of nursing homes or old people but I think aging people are beautiful and wonderful. Well most of them.

18. I like to read but I have trouble finding time.

19. I love to learn new things. By myself, with my husband, with my kids, with my family, with my friends!

20. I would love to give birth again but I really don't want more children.

21.I was a brownie and a girl scout.

22. I played/took piano lessons for 4 years, but never learned to read music.

23. Growing up I was in tap, ballet, baton, gymnastics, and played volleyball, basketball all at different times. Until I turned 15 and got a job.

24. I love where I live 2 hrs or less to the mountains, desert, ocean...

25. I just reread my 16 things and realised that I had way more than 16 things... so can I stop yet?

And more! Is High Fructose Corn Syrup Turning Us Into Mad Hatters?

this

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paula-crossfield/is-high-fructose-corn-syr_b_161331.html

and this one...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/26/AR2009012601831.html

Some heavy metal with that sweet roll?

Some heavy metal with that sweet roll?

The FDA sat on evidence of mercury-tainted high-fructose corn syrup
Posted by Tom Philpott at 2:04 PM on 26 Jan 2009

High-fructose corn syrup rose from obscurity to ubiquity starting in the late 1970s, borne up by an informal public-private partnership between grain-processing giant Archer Daniels Midland and the federal government. For me, HFCS is at best a highly processed, lavishly subsidized, calorie-heavy, nutritional vacuum.

I recently visited a public high school in Boone, N.C. The main hall literally hummed with machines peddling variations on Coca-Cola's formula for success: fizzy water with artificial flavor, artificial color, added caffeine, and a jolt of HFCS. Other machines displayed snack "foods" tarted up with HFCS. Why are we feeding our kids this crap, again?

Now comes news that makes even an HFCS cynic like me do a spit-take over my home-brewed morning coffee. Turns out that HFCS is commonly tainted with mercury -- a highly toxic substance -- according to a peer-reviewed report published by Environmental Health (abstract here; PDF of the must-read full text here.)

The Environmental Health study draws on samples of high-fructose corn syrup taken straight from the factory. But no one drinks the stuff straight. What about, say, cookies sweetened with HFCS? The Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy plucked HFCS-containing products from supermarket shelves and tested them for mercury. The result?

Overall, we found detectable mercury in 17 of 55 samples, or around 31 percent
Traces of mercury turned up in name-brand products from makers including Quaker, Hunt's, Manwich, Hershey's, Smucker's, Kraft, Nutri-Grain, and Yoplait.

That a ubiquitous industrial-food ingredient such as HFCS should be tainted by mercury is bad enough. But it gets worse. The FDA has apparently known about this since 2005 -- and done nothing to publicize it or change it.


In 2005, EH study lead author Renee Dufault was an FDA researcher. At that time, she conducted the tests now cited in the EH report. Her results found mercury in 9 of 20 HFCS samples -- 45 percent.

She doesn't comment on why, but the FDA apparently did nothing with her results in the years since they emerged. She retired from the agency in March 2008 -- and evidently decided to go public. She deserves praise for the decision to publish her work -- essentially blowing the whistle on what looks like an egregious attempt to hide key information from the public.

So how does mercury work its way into our the food industry's favorite sweetener? It finds its way into Pop Tarts and the like through the stunning array chemicals required to transform corn into a cane sugar substitute. (As you read the following list, marvel that the FDA recently ruled that manufacturers can label HFCS-sweetened foods "natural.") According the the EH study:

Several chemicals are required to make HFCS, including caustic soda, hydrochloric acid, alpha-amylase, gluco-amylase, isomerase, ilter aid, powdered carbon, calcium chloride, and magnesium sulfate.
Two of those charming-sounding chemicals -- caustic soda and hydrochloric acid -- can contain traces of mercury.

Caustic soda and hydrochloric acid are made through the same processes that produce chlorine. It can be done in one of two ways. The first involves pumping saltwater through a vat of mercury. The stuff produced this way is known as "mercury grade."

The second process involves no mercury. The industry is shifting to the second process, but the mercury style has by no means been phased out. According to IATP, "Today, the chlorine industry remains the largest intentional consumer (end user) of mercury."

So you've got this "mercury grade" caustic soda and hydrochloric acid floating around. Guess who's using it? According to the EH study, "mercury grade caustic soda and hydrochloric acid are primarily used by the high fructose corn syrup industry."

Not only did the FDA fail to inform the public of HFCS's mercury problem; food manufacturers that use HFCS may have been in the dark, IATP reports.

There is one hopeful tidbit from the highly disturbing Environmental Health and Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy studies. Several years ago, then-Sen. Barack Obama introduced legislation that would have forced the chlorine industry to phase out mercury.

That bill failed. I hope the new Congress revives it. And I hope the Obama FDA investigates precisely why the agency sat on information that could have saved consumers from mercury exposure. The officials who made that decision -- as well as the HFCS industry, led by Archer Daniels Midland -- must be held to account.

Recall of Products Containing Peanut Butter

We started cleaning our garage...

and we have a lot of stuff we want to give away or sell... look here!

Let Your Love Shine

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Let Your Love Shine ::

Love is like the sun: every member of your family can fully receive the warmth of your love without depriving the others.

Only when you position them in front of or behind one another does love seem exclusive -- giving to some while casting a shadow on others.

Love shines *through* you rather then *from* you, which means you can never really run out of it. When loving your children, your partner, and yourself, there is no limit on how much Love you can shine.

The more you release thoughts of limitation and practice *knowing* that Love is infinite -- even when others are temporarily focused on the shadows
-- the more you will experience parenthood as a sunny, joyful, empowering journey.

http://dailygroove.net/love-shine

--> Get "The Daily Groove" book!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

I did it for you, girls: Barack Obama pens letter to his daughters

Barack Obama has written a letter to his daughters, explaining how he has missed them during his campaign for the White House, why he wanted to be president and what he wants to achieve.

He was asked to write the letter by US magazine Parade. This is what he wrote:

Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me - about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

Love, Dad

Interesting

I took this quiz. Because I thought it would be interesting.

What Kind of Empath Are You?

You Scored as Universal

You are a Universal Empath, you possess all the qualities of the other seven empath groups. You are what is known as an "Implicate" or Imp, a product of evolutionary design and genetic mutation. You are a psychic hybrid. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/)

Universal 85%
Precog 80%
Healer 80%
Judge 80%
Fallen Angel 80%
Shaman 70%
Artist 70%
Traveler 70%

Interesting

So I took this quiz twice and here are the results...

Your Type is
INFJ
Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
22 38 62 22

Kids... How tall?

I measured the kids today and was a little surprised.

Dylan is 50 3/4 inches tall.

Mataya is 37 inches tall even.

My how they grow!

16 Random Things...

OK, I got tagged for this. Not sure I can come up with 16 new random things about myself...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. Come on . . . life is short!

1. I was born in San Diego, but I have never been back.

2. I had been through 32 states by age 10. Lived in 4. Navy brat. Was also held back in 2nd grade because of a move.

3. I almost fell over Niagara Falls when I was about 10. Interesting story and I have the picture to prove it.

4. I climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty even in the crown before they closed it to the public.

5. I wanted to be on the football team in high school...was told I was too thin so I started weightlifting, I did that for many years.

6. I went to modeling school. (I wanted to become a model so I could travel) Then was told I had too many muscles was too defined. Even thought I was not heavy. In my life I have also been anywhere from a size 1 to a size 12 and everywhere in between. Looks are not as important to me as this number may suggest. I love the Dove commercials! Inner beauty is really what matters.

7. I know how to West Coast Swing, 2-step, Waltz, many other partner dances, and line dance. Have even been in competitions. I miss Dancing so very much. Hubby and I still dance around the house and the kids laugh at us and then try to join in.

8. I have meet many singers, mostly country, gotten autographs. Mostly Chris LeDoux many times. Rest in Peace Chris you are truly missed. Also, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Joe Nichols, Trick Pony, Phil Vassar, Kathy Mattea, Don Williams, Ricky Skaggs, Dan Seals, Gary Allen, Pam Tillis, Clay Walker,

9. I would love to live in the country have a farm, animals, garden and lake, hiking trails. But then I might miss my Internet fix.

10. I don't cook much (I don't really like to) thanks to the awesome hubby. I do like to bake if I have the time.

11. I love to entertain, and wished we had more people over more often. Sometimes I am afraid though.

12. Being a Mom and parenting is the most important thing to me in my life. I intensely love and adore my children. They amaze me everyday.

12. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere in parts of my life. Feel like people don't truly know me.

13. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

14. I have never broken a bone, but I have a bad ankle (torn ligament) a bad wrist (from scooping ice cream at Basking Robbins 1st job) and a bad hip (honeymoon injury) but I do not have much pain thanks to an awesome chiropractor!

15. I have had two natural births but both at hospitals. With one born posterior after 8 hours of labor. And the other born in a the water (birthing tub) after barely making it to the hospital. I also thing Breast milk is awesome and pumped for 13 months for the first kid and still nursing the second.

16. I have natural curly hair and I have twirled it since I was 2. Hard habit to break. It is just so soft.

I really thought this was going to be hard... but not too bad.

If you read this... tag your it!

I love these affirmations!

Affirmations
Affirmations are powerful and help you to affirm the life you want and deserve, and bring your thoughts back to a love basis.

Always use the first person when stating positive affirmations. For example: "I am healthy. I am calm and balanced. I am beautiful."

I am surrounded by Angels now
The Angels shine the love of God upon me and thru me
I accept this love from God and the Angels
I deserve love
I deserve happiness
I deserve help from heaven and I accept it now
I call upon God and the Angels to help and guide me
I listen to my inner voice and feelings
My inner voice and feelings are guidance from God and the Angels
I follow my guidance in full faith

I know that God and the Angels love me and are guiding me right now
I accept love
I love
I am loving
I am very loved
I forgive everyone
I forgive myself
I allow the loving energy of God and the Angels to guide my every action
I am divinely protected
I send Gods love to everyone I meet

There is an abundance of love in the world
There is enough for everyone
I have an abundance of everything
I attract wonderful loving people into my life
My Angels and I enjoy new opportunities to give service to the world

I am rewarded constantly
My life is harmonious and peaceful
I am peaceful
I am radiant
I am joyful


Angel Blessings to you, and may the wonder of this Christmas Season be with you throughout the New Year.
Linda

Happy New Year! Day 2! PEACE!

From the daily OM.... and a picture of me share my PEACE!

January 2, 2009
Share Your Peace
Aries Daily Horoscope

You could be experiencing a sense of tranquility today that may leave you feeling serene and at peace with the world, which could be due to your awareness that the universe is taking care of you and there is nothing to worry about. Perhaps today you can make best use of this feeling of peace by doing a loving-kindness meditation in which you send your positive vibrational energy to others. As your breath becomes calm and still, you can picture someone in your life about whom you care. Imagine the peace you feel while basking them in a warm, golden light that is filled with soothing energy. With each breath, feel this light intensify to slowly envelop everyone you know, and to eventually cover all beings on earth. In this loving-kindness meditation, you could notice that not only your sense of inner calm but also your love for the world around you increases.

Our feelings of peace can be a positive catalyst to spread peace to others in our world. When everything seems right in our lives, it is easy for us to simply relax into the feeling and wish to hold onto it. The more we try to contain this feeling, however, the more elusive it will become. Truly being able to delve into serenity means that we see what is peaceful around us, as well as within. By sharing this sense of peace through meditation, you will alter the vibrations of the people in your life as well as be a force for their own positive and healing change.

Happy New Year! Day 1! Love!

I got this yesterday in my inbox from the Daily OM.

I really liked it and it fit so here it is.

December 31, 2008
New Year's Resolutions: The Two Lists
A Message from DailyOM Co-Founder Scott Blum

I was fortunate to spend time with an enigmatic man named Robert during a very special period of my life. Robert taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

"Now that you are becoming more aware," Robert said, "you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don't lose the momentum you have built."

"Like New Year's resolutions?" I asked.

"That's an interesting idea," he smirked. "Let's do that."

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

"Tonight's assignment is to make two lists," Robert continued. "The first is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WILL keep. Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper."

That night I went home and spent several hours working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn't gotten in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life. The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next day, I met Robert in front of the local food Co-op, where we seemed to have most of our enlightening conversations. "Tell me about your two lists," Robert said as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

"The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. And the second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead."

"Let me see the second list," he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby garbage can. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but after I calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light. In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

"And now, the first list." Robert bowed his head and held out both of his hands.

I purposefully handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the can without looking at it.

"What did you do that for?!" I couldn't hide my anger any longer.

Robert began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. "What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do."

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:

"Love."

Is Joy Knocking on your door?

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Is Joy Knocking On Your Door? ::

She knocked on the huge palace door. The peephole cover slid open, revealing the grim face of the palace guard. "Who goes there?"

"I am Joy," she answered with a smile, "I'm here to visit the Queen."

The guard shut the peephole abruptly. A few minutes later, it slid open again and the guard said, "The Queen is upset because her children are misbehaving.
You may not enter until conditions improve."

"But I bring good tidings, and if she would let me in, the children would surely abandon their mischief."

"Sorry," the guard grumbled, "I must do Her Majesty's bidding." Then he locked the door and left.

But Joy did not leave . . . She just kept knocking.


Today, if you feel upset for any reason, ask yourself this: "Am I using these conditions as an excuse to disallow my natural state of well-being?"

Decide that when JOY knocks on *your* door, you'll let it in... no matter what the conditions!

http://dailygroove.net/unconditional-joy

--> Get "The Daily Groove" book!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

AFTER

BEFORE

Merry Christmas 2008!

Update!

Hello!
We hope you are enjoying the snow.

Please keep in mind we are concerned for everyone's safety. Since we live here and our doors are not blocked with snow yet, they will be open for anyone who would like to come. However please do not attempt and unsafe trip.

Don't worry about us we have plenty of cookies, hot buttered rum and cider to keep us feed and warm.
Happy Holidays!

The McDonald Family
PS. if you are in the neighborhood anytime in the next week please feel free to call or stop by we will have cookies and the lights on.

Holiday Open House

Well...who would have thought that our holiday open house might get snowed out!

The one year we have it on two nights!

Oh well... more cookies for me right? We have 800 plus!

So here is our list of goodies that you are all missing....

~All homemade~

~The cookies~

Big Fat chewy chocolate chip

Cocoa no-bake

Creamy peanut butter chocolate chip

Crunch peanut butter chocolate chip

Ginger crackles

oatmeal peanut butter

big grandma best peanut butter

chewy chocolate chocolate chip

snicker doodles

coconut macaroons

hotter nells

lime melt aways

shortbread

chewy chocolate gingerbread

hazelnut teacakes

~The other goodies~

2 min fudge

almond roca

chocolate peanut butter squares

muddy buddies

roasted red pepper hummus

dip

~The stuff from the store~

cheese ball

veggies

little smokies

crackers

~The drinks~

water

milk

coffee

juice

beer

wine

mixed drinks

homemade hot apple cider

homemade hot buttered rum

Please Help!

Please read this and Help!

http://www.helpkeepthemhome.com

Peace, Love and Joy!
Heather McDonald

Our House

Holiday Open House! Update! Update!

Location: McDonald Family House Vancouver, WA 98684 US
When: Saturday, December 20th 6 PM AND Sunday, December 21, 6 PM
RSVP Phone: 360-907-6217

You Are Invited To Our House For A Holiday Open House!

This is our 10th year doing this and our gift to you.

Our Doors Will Be Open Between 6-8 PM.

We decided to open the house up BOTH nights. So you can take your pick!

We Hope to See You!

Also if you are unable to attend the party and still want to see all of the lights just call or swing on by anytime!

Thank you each and everyone!

We wish you all a very Happy Holiday!

PS. we are up to 20 different treats so far. And drinks a plenty!

How to Be a Good Unschooler

This has been going around and I really liked it and did not want it to get lost so I am putting it on my blog also!

Foreword by Sandra Dodd: Pam Sorooshian has written something perfectly stunning, and stunningly perfect. She didn't send a title for it. I've called it "How to be a good unschooler," but it could be "How to be a good parent," or "How to be a good person." It's a summary of some of the best unschooling knowledge of the past dozen and more years. It will help improve families' lives for years to come.


This was something I posted on the HSC list in response to a discussion stemming from a question about how to motivate a child to do schoolwork:


1. Give your love generously and criticism sparingly. Be your children's partner. Support them and respect them. Never belittle them or their interests, no matter how superficial, unimportant, or even misguided their interests may seem to you. Be a guide, not a dictator. Shine a light ahead for them, and lend them a hand, but don't drag or push them. You WILL sometimes despair when your vision of what your child ought to be bangs up against the reality that they are their own person. But that same reality can also give you great joy if you learn not to cling to your own preconceived notions and expectations.

2. Homeschooled children who grow up in a stimulating and enriched environment surrounded by family and friends who are generally interested and interesting, will learn all kinds of things and repeatedly surprise you with what they know. If they are supported in following their own passions, they will build strengths upon strengths and excel in their own ways whether that is academic, artistic, athletic, interpersonal, or whichever direction that particular child develops. One thing leads to another. A passion for playing in the dirt at six can become a passion for protecting the natural environment at 16 and a career as a forest ranger as an adult. You just never ever know where those childhood interests will eventually lead. Be careful not to squash them; instead, nurture them.

3. Bring the world to your children and your children to the world. Revel in what brings you together as a family. Watch tv and movies and listen to music and the radio. Laugh together, cry together, be shocked together. Analyze and critique and think together about what you experience. Notice what your child loves and offer more of it, not less. What IS it about particular shows that engage your child—build on that. Don't operate out of fear. Think for yourself and about your own real child. Don't be swayed by pseudostudies done on school children.

4. Surround your child with text of all kinds and he/she will learn to read. Read to them, read in front of them, help them, don't push them. Children allowed to learn on their own timetable do learn to read at widely divergent times—there is NO right time for all children. Some learn to read at three years old and others at 12 or even older. It doesn't matter. Children who are not yet reading are STILL learning—support their learning in their own way. Pushing children to try to learn to read before they are developmentally ready is probably a major cause of long-term antipathy toward reading, at best, and reading disabilities, at worst.

5. It doesn't matter when something is learned. It is perfectly all right for a person to learn all about dinosaurs when they are 40 years old, they don't have to learn it when they are nine. It is perfectly all right to learn to do long division at 16 years old, they do not have to learn that at nine, either. It does not get more difficult to learn most things later; it gets easier.

6. Don't worry about how fast or slow they are learning. Don't test them to see if they are "up to speed." If you nurture them in a supportive environment, your children will grow and learn at their own speed, and you can trust in that process. They are like seeds planted in good earth, watered and fertilized. You don't keep digging up the seeds to see if the roots are growing—that disrupts the natural growing process. Trust your children in the same way you trust seeds to sprout and seedlings to develop into strong and healthy plants.

7. Think about what is REALLY important and keep that always in the forefront of your interactions with your children. What values do you hope to pass on to them? You can't "pass on" something you don't exemplify yourself. Treat them the way you want them to treat others. Do you want respect? Be respectful. Do you want responsibility from them? Be responsible. Think of how you look to them, from their perspective. Do you order them around? Is that respectful? Do you say, "I'll be just a minute" and then take 20 more minutes talking to a friend while the children wait? Is that responsible? Focus more on your own behavior than on theirs. It'll pay off bigger.

8. Let kids learn. Don't protect them or control them so much that they don't get needed experience. But, don't use the excuse of "natural consequences" to teach them a lesson. Instead, exemplify kindness and consideration. If you see a toy left lying in the driveway, don't leave it there to be run over, pick it up and set it aside because that is the kind and considerate thing to do and because kindness and consideration are values you want to pass on to your kids. Natural consequences will happen, they are inevitable. But it isn't "natural" anymore if you could have prevented it, but chose not to do so.

9. We can't always fix everything for our kids or save them from every hurt. It can be a delicate balancing act—when should we intervene, when should we stay out of the way? Empathy goes a long long way and may often be all your child needs or wants. Be available to offer more, but let your child be your guide. Maybe your child wants guidance, ideas, support, or intervention. Maybe not. Sometimes the best thing you can offer is distraction.

10. Be sensitive to your child's interest level. Don't push activities that your child isn't interested in pursuing. Don't let YOUR interests dictate your child's opportunities. If your child wants a pet, be realistic and don't demand promises that the child will take sole care for it. Plan to care for it yourself when the interest wanes. Do it cheerfully. Model the joy of caring for animals. Model kindness and helpfulness. Help a child by organizing their toys so they are easy to care for. Plan to care for them yourself much of the time, but invite your child's help in ways that are appealing. If YOU act like you hate organizing and cleaning, why would your child want to do it? Always openly enjoy the results of caring for your possessions—take note of the extra space to play in, the ease of finding things you want, how nice it is to reach into a cupboard and find clean dishes. Enjoy housework together and don't make it a battle.

11. Don't pass on your own fears and hates about learning anything. If you hate or fear math, keep it to yourself. Act like it is the most fun thing in the world. Cuddle up and do math in the same way you cuddle up and read together. Play games, make it fun. If you can't keep your own negativity at bay, at least try to do no harm by staying out of it.

12. Don't try to "make kids think." They WILL think, you don't have to make them. Don't use every opportunity to force them to learn something. They WILL learn something at every opportunity, you don't have to force it. Don't answer a question by telling them to "look it up" or by asking them another question. If you know the answer, give it. If you don't, then HELP them find it. Speculating about an answer often leads to a good conversation. If your child stops seeing you as helpful when they have questions, they'll stop coming to you with their questions. Is that what you really want?

13. When you offer a child choices, be sure they are real choices. Offer them choices as often as you can. Try to limit the "have to's" as much as you can. Frequently ask yourself, "Is this really a "have to" situation or can we find some choices here?"

Pam Sorooshian

Just for Fun!

Happy December 1st!

This is my favorite time of year (for the most part). So much to do! So much fun to be had. I hope you all have the Peace. Love and Joy you desire this holiday season!

Holiday Open House! Update!

This is taking place in December... We are trying to figure out if we want to do the 20th or the 21st!

You Are Invited To Our House For A Holiday Open House!

This is our 10th year doing this and our gift to you.

Our Doors Will Be Open Between 6-8 PM.

We are up in the air on the 20th and 21st, please help us decide a date this year. You can choose the date that works best for you.

We Hope to See You!

Also if you are unable to attend the party and still want to see all of the lights just call or swing on by anytime!

Thank you each and everyone!

We wish you all a very Happy Holiday!

Make-A-Flake

Mataya the elf!

Dylan the elf!

Thanksgiving

:: A Post-Modern Thanksgiving ::

Transforming your life experience (including parenting) from a *grind* to a *groove* leads to a peculiar realization: It's all GOOD... even the "bad" stuff!

There are hidden blessings in *every* situation. You may not see some of those blessings for quite some time -- perhaps years -- but who's to say you can't enjoy them before you know what they are? Don't you enjoy receiving a gift even before you've unwrapped it? :-)

So if you're celebrating Thanksgiving today, try giving thanks for things that don't normally garner your gratitude:

* Your child's crying, whining, aggression, etc.

* The person who judged or criticized your parenting.

* That thing you said or did to your child that you promised you never would.

Allow yourself to appreciate that LIFE IS GOOD... *all* of it! Acknowledge the gift of *shadows*, without which the Light would have no depth.

Have fun!

http://dailygroove.net/thanksgiving

>>> The Daily Groove BOOK makes a great gift for your friends with kids!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends! (Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Bob's Red Mill

Pilgrim Name

Your Pilgrim Name Is...

Constance Cushman

What's Your Pilgrim Name?

Fall

 

A friends recent email...

Hi there - the following letter is from my daughter - I know some of you personally, and others I do not, but we are on the same group or e-list - I am forwarding her letter in hopes that there will be some folks out there with the skills, background, ideas, information, contacts, or willingness and time, to help her manifest this project. We live in the Portland, Oregon area, but much can be done without being local, as well. Thanks for taking the time to read, and please feel free to contact me (as well as her) if that would be helpful - Lylaw@comcast.net.

warmly, Lyla


Hey Everyone!
My name is Corina Wolfenstein, I'm 13 years old, and I'm interested in starting a project that has to do with beauty and body image.
So, i was watching a TV show called Made. Three girls all wanted to be made into models, so they where whisked away to New York. They learned how to cat-walk, and they were all excited to become models. They all had to go, and meet designers who potentially would hire them to represent their company. Two of the girls were naturally extremely thin, but the other girl was more averagely built. She was still thin, but just not stick thin. All 10 of the designers told her they did not want to hire her until she lost weight. She was only fifteen.

That led me to wondering and thinking about clothing magazines, and fashion magazines that are read by millions. When you get right down to the point, the purpose of the advertisements are to sell, and appeal to potential customers. I mean, in ads for toys they show little kids. In ads for workout machines they show tall, ripped guys. So why is it that in fashion magazines, designers and clothing companies who are trying to appeal to girls and women use models that look nothing like their average customer?

I thought it would be a good idea to put together a website - like an online magazine. It would have tons of pictures of women and girls modeling clothes from stylish companies. The models would be people of different skin colors, hair styles, heights, sizes and ages. I want the pictures to look as professional as possible, and I don't have resources to create photos and get the clothes that would be needed, which is why I'm reaching out to the community. If you're interested in donating or participating in the project, there are a lot of different things that could help. We're going to need a photographer, someone to do makeup and hair on the models, someone who knows about modeling and can help with things like poses and backdrops or settings for the pictures, people to help reach out to other sources to get clothes, and of course - models. After the pictures have been taken, the website will need to be created, and the project itself will need to be advertised. It may be difficult to get enough clothes from companies, so if you have any nice clothes that you no longer want and you'd be willing to donate them that would be great as well.
The goals of this project are to convey to women and girls that people with diverse looks and body types can look good in stylish clothing, and to send a message to clothing companies and fashion magazines, promoting realistic and respectful advertising of their products.

If anyone has any advice, ideas, or contributions to make, or if you know anybody who would be able to help or be part of the project you can contact me at my email: Shadowmonkey101@gmail.com - or you can call me at (503) 754 -2817.

Even if you don't have enough time to be a part of the beginning process, if you would be interested in modeling eventually, you can just send me your contact information and I'll call you when the time arrives.

Thanks!

Sincerely,
Corina Wolfenstein

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS....

:: Love Notes To Myself ::

Ever wish you could go back in time and share the wisdom of your experience with your past self?

"If only I knew then what I know now..."

In your imagination, such time travel is possible and can be healing. But you can do it for real in reverse:
share your present wisdom with your future self!

Here's how:

1. Write a bunch of short, inspiring "love notes" to yourself on small pieces of paper. Say things like "Love is the answer," "All Is Well," "Truth will set you free," "Let go!" "I love you," etc.

2. Hide the notes in places where you'll find them unexpectedly in the future -- in a cookbook, your car's glove box, a file folder, a coat pocket, etc.

3. As you hide each one, hold the thought that you'll find it at the precise moment when you'll need to remember that bit of wisdom.

Your child(ren) can play this game, too, and you can also write love notes for each other. There's no right or wrong way -- just follow your heart.

http://dailygroove.net/love-notes

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

What a great idea!

Family Christmas Exchange

In the past few years, our extended family has perfected a
fun, eco-friendly gift exchange at Christmas. Throughout the
year, we make a list (or pile) of items that are good and
usable. These are items that we know someone may enjoy but we
just aren't using, such as kitchen items, gardening tools,
cloths, books, CDs, movies, etc. We also include homemade
items like scarves, jams, new plants, cookies, etc.

On Christmas day, everyone brings all of the items wrapped in
reused or hand drawn wrapping. We count the number of gifts
total and divide it by the number of people present. We agree
on the number of "stealings" and rules of the exchange (i.e.
everyone gets five gifts and can steal a total of 5 times). At
the end, one person is responsible for bringing non-loved
items to the thrift shop for a new owner.

This exchange reuses items, clears out some of our clutter,
reduces our need to buy new and reduces the Christmas price
tag, which before this tradition was ridiculously too high.
Best of all, it is very fun, especially when we win Grandma's
jam.

REPLACE ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLORS WITH NATURAL FOOD COLOR

REPLACE ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLORS WITH NATURAL FOOD COLOR
By Pete Maletto

Jan 25, 2007 - It was not long ago when I was conducting my daily ritual of research on the Internet and stumbled upon consumers growing concerns about artificial food colors. While it didn't surprise me because I have the same concerns, I noticed that many consumers are complaining about side effects with artificial colors. Most consumers are concerned about yellow dye consumption and its side effects such as headaches, vomiting, hives, asthma and a possible cause of ADD and ADHD.
While I found that yellow dye has quite a laundry list of possible side effects, I also found that red dye has its share as well. One that really amuses me is that this artificial food color can actually dye our own internal systems red color (they do this with salmon to make the pink color).

While side effects are not as documented as it should be, there also seems to be some people that have allergic reactions to most artificial colors. Just ask any doctor that performs colonoscopies and you'll hear him tell you about artificial blue color and red color showing up and coloring the colon for days. This has lead many consumers to believe that artificial colors are bad for you and that they are another cancer causing agent found in foods today. Now the media is piling on and consumers are starting to avoid artificial food colors.

And as an experienced food technologist, I tend to agree.....

The FDA manages the Adverse Reaction Monitoring System (ARMS) as an added safety check on color additives to food, with a computerized database to track potential public health hazards. FDA's Advisory Committee on hypersensitivity to food constituents concluded in 1986 that FD&C Yellow No. 5 may cause hives in fewer than one out of 10,000 people, but found no evidence that it provokes asthma attacks as some reports had indicated. You would think a system as sophisticated as this would catch the problems but they decided to permit the usage of Yellow No. 5 to continue, with product labeling allowing those with hypersensitivity to avoid it.

Yellow dye is basically a hidden term for tartrazine, a coal tar derivative which has proven side effects on the central nervous system. For example, in a study published in 1978, 122 patients who had a variety of diagnosed allergic reactions were given 50 milligrams of tartrazine.


This Is Your Kid On Artificial Colors!This dose elicited reactions such as palpitations, weakness, hives and itching in these susceptible individuals; 50 milligrams is a large dose, but could be consumed by someone drinking a few bottles of soda during the day. Or a serving of Mac and Cheese to your kids (get the hyperactive hint here?) which has close to 50 mg per box and at a child's body weight, that's a lot of tartrazine. It is also important to note that there is a connection between people allergic to aspirin and allergic reactions to tartrazine.
Usage of Red No. 3 was voluntarily terminated in 1990 after animal testing indicated an association with thyroid tumors. Although it still remains on the list, the FDA is proposing to remove it. A panel from the National Institutes of Health determined in 1982 that coloring additives were not related to claims of hyperactivity (look at the kids today and it makes you think twice). Although approved by the FDA, some people may still have allergic reactions.

Currently, any blue or green food on the U.S. market gets its hues from certifiable colors FD&C Blue No. 1 (Brilliant Blue), Blue No. 2 (Indigotine), or Green No. 3 (Fast Green). Blue No. 1 and Green No. 3 are both petroleum-derived triphenylmethanes--that is, they have three aromatic rings attached to a central carbon atom. Blue No. 2 is a disodium sulfonate of a naturally occurring compound called indigo.

However, the indigo used to create Blue No. 2 is synthesized by fusing N-phenylglycine in a molten mix of sodamide and sodium and potassium hydroxides. And we are feeding these chemicals to our kids!

Lets face it, there is no way you could tell me that something that can stain the cells of our body and come from chemicals such as coal tar/tartrazine, triphenylmethane, and other chemicals would not cause some type of mutagenic effect in the body over a period of time.

None the less, it's seems obvious to me that consuming artificial colors can definitely cause side effects with some people (some side effects that they may not even notice) and they are quite possibly "cancer causing chemicals" that we do not need in our food supply, especially when healthy alternatives exist.

THE DEMAND FOR NATURAL FOOD COLORS CONTINUE TO CLIMB

As the negative press about side effects with artificial colors continue worldwide, natural colors are moving in to take center stage. As the shift toward healthy lifestyles drives consumer markets, the demand for natural food colors has experienced significant growth, and analysts forecast it will continue to increase.

Retailers are now looking at cleaning up their labels as a response to the demand for natural products continues to climb. As consumers become more skeptical of mass production techniques and food safety issues, they are migrating to natural foods. Seeking optimal nutrition, the number of U.S. natural food and drink consumers will increase from to 113 million by the end of 2007, according to Datamonitor researchers.

USING NATURAL COLORS IN FOODS AND BEVERAGES
Colors are one of the most important factors when designing a food or beverage. Consumers use color as a way to identify foods and beverages and even judge the quality of the product. People associate certain colors with certain flavors. Because of this, the color of food can influence the perceived flavor. So when I design any food or beverage product I always look to benefit the manufacturer (my client) and the consumer by using natural colors, and I can always get the impact of a bright, colorful artificial color. But using natural colors is a challenge all to its own. As ridiculous as this sounds, the laws for natural colors are more strict than artificial colors. For example, we can't use chlorophyll to make a natural green color....you know the natural chemical that keeps plants alive (yet it's OK to use coal tar).

Natural colors have their own set of regulations and while the FDA lists them as "exempt from certification" they have a set of restrictions that us food designers must follow. These natural ingredients must have GRAS status, which is generally recognized as safe by the US government.

And unlike artificial colors, natural colors are more difficult to use because they are subject to change pigment with product PH, heat or light. It takes a food technologist experienced in natural colors to understand how they react in a particular process, product or package.

Some natural colors are heat and/or light sensitive. For example, beet juice is destroyed by heat and Turmeric, on the other hand, is heat-stable and gives a bright yellow color, but breaks down in a few days under UV light. To protect a beverage's natural color, sometimes I recommend soft drink manufacturers use tinted bottles or UV protective overwraps.

CREATING A HEALTHY ADVANTAGE USING NATURAL COLORS IN FOODS
Using natural colors can provide a two-fold advantage when designing foods. One of those is not using artificial colors and the second advantage is that many natural colors are actually good for you and they provide a antioxidant/anticancer and antimicrobial benefit. One of those many colors/antioxidants that produces a yellow color is turmeric, annatto, and beta carotene.

Turmeric is a bright yellow colorant made from the roots of the herb Curcuma longa L. The pigments responsible for the color are known as curcuminoid: curcumin and related compounds. Turmeric's solubility depends on the medium in which the pigments are dispersed and the process. For instance, turmeric oleoresin is water-soluble; but a suspension of turmeric extract in oil can be added to fat-based systems. At high pH this colorant turns orange. Turmeric also has been shown in scientific studies to act as an antioxidant, with anticancer and antimutagenic properties.

Annatto is another yellow food colorant. It comes from the seeds of the Bixa orella tree. The pigments that produce the yellow to orange color range are the carotenoids bixin and norbixin; the concentration is expressed as a percentage of one or both of these compounds and the content varies with the extraction method. The pH, emulsifiers and the overall solubility affect the hue; the greater the solubility in oil, the brighter the color. Water- and oil-soluble, and oil/water dispersible forms of annatto are available. Because it may precipitate or turn pink at a pH less than 5, suppliers have developed specially emulsified acid proof versions.

Beta-Carotene is a precursor for vitamin A in addition to imparting an orange-yellow color to food. Most beta-carotene is derived from algae or synthesized. Beta carotene is oil-soluble but can be made into a water-dispersible emulsion. No restrictions have been placed on the level of use and it is listed as GRAS (Generally Recognized as Safe). As an antioxidant, beta carotene is critical to optimal immune system support.

These natural yellow colors are a great alternative to artificial yellow dyes that are poisoning our food supply today. Other functional colors are anthocyanins, which can produce reds instead of using artificial red #40 color.

These anthocyanins are natural pigments found in grapes, elderberries, black currants, red cabbage and other fruits and vegetables and they add a unique, natural shade of red to many products. Anthocyanins are most vibrant and stable in low-pH foods like beverages and fruit jellies and jams, but they do become unstable as pH increases or due to pasteurization. Anthocyanins act as antioxidants and may help prevent coronary heart disease and strokes. Studies show they may have anti-inflammatory properties and have antiviral and antimicrobial activity as well.
When looking for a bright pink color I turn to the anthocyanins in Red Cabbage Juice for products with a pH of less than 4. A higher pH causes the anthocyan-based pigments to turn a purplish blue color. The product dissolves in water, but not in oil.

Beet Juice in either liquid or dehydrated form contributes a bluish-red color produced by a compound known as betanin which is stable at a higher pH range than red cabbage juice.

For a more reddish purple color I use Grape Skin Extract, but in beverages only. The FDA restricts its use to alcoholic beverages, beverage bases, still and carbonated drinks, and "ades". Go figure huh?

Carmine/Cochineal. Carminic acid, which is derived from the shells of certain species of insect, produces a magenta red shade and is the pigment present in carmine colors and cochineal extract. Water insoluble lake forms of carmine exhibit a color range from pink to purple. Unlike the colors derived from plant sources, these are not Kosher certified. Carmine will not be stable at low pH unless an acid-proof version is used. It is, however, very heat stable.

While I try to stay away from Carmine because the whole insect thing makes me uncomfortable, I found that tomato extracts featuring lycopene can produce the red pigment I desire in foods and beverages. One such product is Tomat-O-Red from PLThomas. Tomat-O-Red is ideal as a colorant because it offers an all natural alternative to coloring with carmine/cochineal. Unlike many natural colors it is stable in a wide range of temperatures, and there is no color shift with pH changes. It has the added benefit of containing lycopene, a healthy colorant.

Another great natural coloring agent is caramel colors. Caramel color is one of the most widely used colorants used in foods and is made by heating food grade carbohydrates, generally a high dextrose-containing starch hydrolysate or corn syrup.
Caramel color is soluble in water and produces a color ranging from golden brown to nearly black. The color strength is defined as its tinctorial power -- the absorbance at 560 nanometers measured spectrophotometrically. The color tone, defined by the hue index, measures the red characteristics of the color. Generally, the higher the tinctorial power, or strength, the lower the hue index, or red tones. Some caramel colors are termed "double strength." This is a relative term and varies with the color range. The specific gravity indicates the solids content and therefore the strength of the color.

The majority of caramel color carries either a positive or negative ionic charge. Negatively charged product uses sulfite in its manufacture and although it is molecularly bound, can be detected chemically. Because the FDA mandates sulfite labeling in products containing over 10 ppm, the level present in a specific type of caramel color may become a formulation consideration.

For orange color I usually turn to another spice, Paprika. Paprika Oleoresin is extracted from the pod of Capsicum annum, or paprika. It contains three main naturally occurring pigments: capsanthin, capsorubin and beta-carotene. This combination produces a bright orange to red orange in food products. The oleoresin is oil-soluble, but when emulsified becomes water dispersible.

Other times I look to modify a natural color or make the product white I usually use titanium dioxide because it not only colors food products white, it imparts an opaque appearance. Both water and oil dispersible versions are manufactured. The FDA limits its usage in food products to 1% by weight.

So as you can see there is not only an advantage in using natural colors over artificial ones, but it an art form that utilizes the creativity of the food designer to get the appropriate color. In fact, many times I will use 3 or 4 natural colors to get the desired shade.

The most important aspect is the concern for the consumer and using natural colors provides a clear health benefit for them. While the media continues to push the all natural button, you'll see consumers influenced and looking to the Internet for answers, which will expose artificial colors for what they really are.

If you have artificial colors in your foods give us a call and we can make the necessary changes in your product line and provide the market advantage your consumers are looking for.

Daily OM for me

November 11, 2008
Understanding Others
Aries Daily Horoscope
Your ability to offer understanding today may have you listening to the opinions of others with tolerance. This broad-minded approach allows you to be supportive of another’s experience while also letting them feel accepted. Since judgment has been removed from the interaction, it creates a positive impact on both parties, whether or not your views are in agreement. Today as you offer the gift of your understanding to anyone who needs it, you attract understanding into your life as well.

We all seek acceptance and understanding, which is why we tend to surround ourselves with those who are most like us. We feel comforted by the presence of people who don’t require much explanation or justification for our choices. At the same time, we are challenged by those who offer a different viewpoint and help us broaden our horizons and grow out of our safety zones. By not rejecting differences but seeking to understand the philosophies behind them, we learn more about the world we all share. When we take the time to listen to others without judgment, we can find the similarities that bring us closer together. When we can release the need to be right, and instead see that others arrive at the same conclusion by different means, it is easier to coexist peacefully. As more people begin to live by these values, the closer we all come to living in a world at peace. By sharing your ability to understand others, you bridge the gaps in your world today and help others see the! value of listening and acceptance.

Could YOU be this Honest?

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Radical Honesty ::

Hiding the truth (from yourself and/or others) is a constant energy drain. To free yourself from the burden of secrets and lies, you must cultivate the skill of radical honesty: willingness to reveal any truth, no matter how "unacceptable" it is.

Withholding truth is such an integral part of our culture that you probably don't notice when you're doing it. So, for today, pay close attention to your thoughts and expressions, and continually ask yourself, "Am I being as honest as I could be about that? Is there a deeper truth?"

Examples of "acceptable" dishonesty include saying you're "fine" when you're not, and *not* saying how you feel about the way your friend treats her child.

When you spot a white lie or withheld truth, notice how it feels in your body -- the energy and effort required to distort or ignore your true feelings.

Then imagine being radically honest -- telling it exactly like it is. If you could be that honest *and* keep your heart open, would you?

http://dailygroove.net/radical-honesty

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

So Sweet!

Kids having fun

Why is it that we can not get our 6 year old to go anywhere. So we drag him to this birthday party at this play place and then we can not get him to leave. What is up with that? How can we get him to be a more willing participant when we really are doing fun things? Why does it have to be so hard?

Note to self...

Do not drink... get buzzed... and try to explain the birds and the bees to you 6 year old!

OK that did not go so well... better yet don't turn off tape but leave TV on.

Quote

No matter how this is quoted or who said it or how it started it is inspirational...


Heard on NPR...

"Rosa sat so Martin could walk...

Martin walked, so Obama could run...

Obama is running so our children can fly!"

And added later...

Update#1: Apparently, this quote has been around for a while. I found this web store already selling T-shirts with the quote on them!
Interestingly, instead of "Obama", it was "Barack" on those shirts! ( A comment by Ernest T Bass noted the inconsistency, as Rosa and Martin are first names)

________________________

Update#2: I think I found the origin of this quote! Believe it or not, it looks like it was Jay-Z at a concert in New York City on October 5th! (If anyone can trace the quote to an earlier event or to someone else, please post a comment)
You can watch this video (poor quality by the way) At around 1min:53sec into it, Jay-Z said the following:

"Rosa Parks sat, so Martin could walk... Martin walked, so Obama could run... Obama is running, so we all could fly

________________________

Update#3: There seems to be yet another variation of this out there (h/t to Tin hat mafia)

Crispus fell, so Rosa Parks could sit. Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King, Jr. could march. Martin Luther King, Jr. marched so Barack Obama could run. Barack is running so our children can FLY!

The reference to Crispus Attucks (killed during the Boston Massacre of 1770) is an interesting one. I'm now completely unsure what the original quotation is or who said it.

New President

Are you going to a party and Vote!

So have you? Have you voted?

LIST OF GOALS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON

In no particular order...

and I might add more as the family comes up with more...

Peace
Love
Joy
Happiness
Thanks
Fun
Caring
Communication
Planning

Saving Money

I read this somewhere and it would be so nice to plan and have everything be enjoyable.

The holidays are a time for enjoying family, friends, and tradition, as well as a time for breaking out your most impressive and beloved recipes. Yet just as you can count on the holidays being a time of joy and celebration, you can also be sure they are going to be hectic! Is it your greatest fantasy to sit down and relax with your family instead of rushing madly about the kitchen from the crack of dawn until the dead of night? You really can live this fantasy; all it takes is some planning ahead. If you can steal a few hours for preparation during the coming weeks, the big day will be a joy!

Trusting our kids’ bodies

This was a recent post by someone I know and I just love it. I have recently gone through and am going through some of the same stuff.

Feelings

So recently on a board I am on I posted something that I thought I would also put here. This is really exposing me. These are some of my feelings and thoughts and it feels very raw. Maybe if I just put it out there the feelings and thoughts will change.

I have read a little on the NVC and I get a lot of email type messages but I feel I am struggling. So here is my stuff. Anyone want to help me tackle it?

I kinda feel like having a pity party most recently. I feel like I am failing at many friendships or something. I just don’t seem to be connecting well with people other than my children, husband, and Parents.

I feel I am struggling to find support, to find a tribe, to find a real connection, to feel welcomed, to feel understood, to feel appreciated. I know this is all a bit jumbled. I could explain each one, but I fell bad taking up a lot of every ones time. Mostly I feel I try to put myself out there and either I don’t find a connection or I feel unappreciated and shut out. The later most recently would be about my sister.

Happy Halloween!

Here are some costume pics of Dylan's costume. Made by Daddy!

Pumpkin Patch

Dylan, Mataya and I went to the pumpkin Patch with a homeschooling group and these were some of the picture I took.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE! You finally caught up with me. LOL! I love you so very much! You are the most wonderful husband in the whole world!

Handprint Spider Smilies

Avoid Flu Shots With the One Vitamin that Will Stop Flu in Its Tracks

Auntie again!

Lela, Bill and Shelby Ford welcomed Ava Evelyn Ford into the world today at 1:26pm October 13th 2008. She weighed 4 lbs. 12 oz. and measured 17.75 inches long.

Everyone is doing well and they deeply appreciate all your prayers! They are asking that they have time to bond as a family, so please no visitors at this time. Thank you for your understanding.

If you are able to provide a meal, please call Heather at 360-907-6217 to arrange for delivery.

The Story of Stuff

Conscious Parenting

Teaching Children Respect

Teaching Children Respect by Pam Leo

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin

Children are mirrors; they reflect back to us everything we say and do. We now know that 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. Human beings are like tape recorders. Every word we hear, everything we experience, is permanently recorded in our subconscious. Whenever adults speak, we are being role models for the children in our presence. What we speak is what we teach. Children record every word we ever say to them or in front of them. The language children grow up hearing is the language they will speak.

We often make the mistake of thinking that since children are smaller than we are and have less information and experience than we do, that they don't have all the same feelings we do. But they do. The same kind of treatment that would embarrass, humiliate or hurt us, embarrasses, humiliates and hurts children. When human beings are being hurt emotionally, our thinking shuts down. When our thinking is shut down we cannot learn, we can only record. When adults try to "teach" children by criticizing, lecturing, shaming, ridiculing, giving orders, screaming, threatening and hitting, it shuts down their thinking so they can't learn what the adult intended to teach them to do or not to do; they can only record what is being modeled.

The most common criticism I hear of young people these days is, "they don't treat anyone or anything with respect." Ironically, adults often try to teach children to be respectful by treating them disrespectfully. Children learn respect or disrespect from how we treat them and how we treat each other. When children live with disrespect, they learn disrespect. We can teach respect only by modeling treating each other with respect and by giving children the same respect we expect.

Since children have long been treated as second class citizens, as "less than," most adults carry "recordings" of disrespect we recorded when we were children. When children's behavior challenges us, it pushes our recording's play button and we find ourselves saying the very things that were said to us as children. Has any parent not had the experience of hearing their parents' words coming out of their own mouths now that they are parents? Most disrespectful responses are so automatic, we have already said them before we even realize what we've said.

Learning to treat children with respect will require a change of heart, that can come only from a major shift in consciousness of how we view children and how we define respect. Children are born with human dignity. To treat a person with respect is to acknowledge and preserve their human dignity. To treat a person with disrespect is to attack their human dignity.

Treating children disrespectfully is like using physical punishment as discipline; it only "works" as long as we are bigger than they are. It behooves every adult who wants to be treated with respect to treat children respectfully. Whether children grow up under our roof or not, they live in the same world we do and their behavior can and does impact our lives. However we treat the child, the child will treat the world.

How can we expect children to understand and practice the Golden Rule if we treat them with less respect than we give our peers? In saying that children deserve the same respect we would give our friends, I am not saying we should treat children like adults or that we should never get angry. I'm saying that there is nothing we ever have to say to a child that we need to say in a disrespectful way.

Yelling, "I'm angry, I don't like this behavior" is not disrespectful; screaming at, belittling, embarrassing and humiliating children is. If we question whether or not something we have said to a child is disrespectful, we can ask ourselves, "would I say those words, in that tone of voice, to my good friend?" If not, it was probably disrespectful. When we model disrespect, we must then model apologizing.

If we are sincere about teaching respect to children we must expose, acknowledge, and work on eliminating all the ways that we model disrespect. Even if we do not model the blatantly disrespectful behaviors of criticizing, lecturing, shaming, ridiculing, giving orders, screaming, threatening and hitting, there are many things we do and say to children, that have been said and done to children for so long, we aren't even aware that they are disrespectful. Yet, if these same things were said or done to us we would identify them as disrespectful.

In my parenting class on treating children with respect, we read a brilliant piece by Erma Bombeck, titled ,"Treat Friends, Kids The Same." She imagines having friends over for dinner and saying to them all those things that most of us heard growing up and therefore, say to children. "Shut the door. Were you born in a barn?" "I didn't work over a hot stove all day to have you nibble like some bird." "Sit up straight or your spine will grow that way." Most parents roar with laughter at the thought of speaking to their friends that way, then realize it is just as disrespectful to say those things to children.

We don't say, "What do you say?" or "What's the magic word?" to our friends but children hear it all the time. If we expect children to always say please and thank- you, we must always say please and thank you to them and to each other, otherwise we are modeling that sometimes you say it and sometimes you don't. Children imitate what we do. If we expect children to have manners, to share, to apologize, to be honest, kind, respectful, and loving, we must do and be those things so they will have that model to imitate.

Children imitate parents, family members, friends, caregivers, teachers, and television. The more children are out in the world, the more models they will be exposed to. While we can't keep children from ever seeing models of the kind of behavior we don't want them to imitate, we can be more selective of what models we expose them to, especially television. Since parents are the primary models in the early years, we must work on modeling the behavior we expect and not modeling behavior we don't want to see in them.

The ancient wisdom "what goes around, comes around," and, "as you sow, so shall you reap," applies to how we teach children. To move from the disrespectful way of teaching through criticizing, lecturing and giving orders, to teaching children through conscious, intentional modeling , takes time and practice and a willingness to look at and sometimes change our own behavior. Gandhi said, "We must become the change we want to see in the world." Joseph Chilton Pearce says, "We must become the people we want our children to be."

Most of the disrespectful things we say and do to children aren't even intentional. Our old "tapes" just automatically play when our buttons get pushed. Learning to teach respect by intentional modeling is simple; it's unlearning the old ways that is difficult. When a child doesn't behave in the ways we expect, we must ask ourselves, "Am I providing a model of the behavior I am expecting of my child?" When a child behaves in a way that we don't like, we must ask ourselves, "Am I modeling that behavior?" If we can honestly answer, "No," then something else is causing the behavior.

We can train ourselves to stop and think before we speak, by remembering that everything we say will be recorded and imitated. We can stop or at least interrupt those old recordings and intentionally model the kind of behavior we expect and will accept from our children. When we give children the same respect we expect, we teach children respect. How we treat them is what we teach them.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Teaching Children Respect"
© 1989-2007 by Pam Leo and Connection Parenting (™)
For more information, articles and reprint permissions,
contact Pam at her website: www.connectionparenting.com

Where have I been...

What have I been doing?

Check it out here. We are live.

Creative Democracy

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Creative Democracy ::

A conversation with my daughter when she was five:

"What's that sign, Daddy?"

"That's a political sign for the upcoming election."

"What's an election?"

I did my best to convey the abstraction of democracy to a 5-year-old. "Do you know what voting is?"

"No."

"Okay... Pretend we're deciding what to make for dinner, and we're choosing between pizza and spaghetti. Each of us gets to vote for which one we want... Which one would *you* vote for?"

"I want pizza AND spaghetti!"

Suddenly *I* was the student, and the lesson was
clear: either/or, win/lose thinking is not something our kids are born with. It's learned. Even if we don't actively teach it to them, we teach it passively whenever we take scarcity and competition for granted.

Today, pay close attention to your decision-making processes -- your private "elections." Are they based on scarcity and competition, or abundance and creativity?

Are you willing to concede your contentious elections and surrender to the creative process?

http://dailygroove.net/creative-democracy

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle


"Inspiration & Coaching for Progressive Parents"
http://www.ScottNoelle.com
http://www.EnjoyParenting.com

1044 Water Street, Suite 342
Port Townsend, WA 98368
USA

Check it out! Fall Harvest Festival and Square Dancing!!!

Fall Harvest Festival and Square Dancing!!!
October 1st, 2008
Portland Green Parenting is hosting our first (annual?) FALL HARVEST FESTIVAL!
October 26th at the Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island from about 1-6 pm.

Come have fun with us and enjoy an ol’ time square dance with caller Caroline Oakley and the Foghorn String Band in the Big Red Barn from 3-6 pm!!

Everyone is welcome to show up as early as they want since there will be lots of other fun things to enjoy at the farm from 9 am until 6 pm:
* animal barn FREE
* hay pyramid & hay maze FREE
* hayrides FREE
* cow train for $2.00 per person

But be sure to arrive before 2 pm to get your tickets for the Corn Maize (about a 45 minute activity from about 2-3 pm), after which we will have some games and face painting. We will roast corn and grill burgers from 3-5:30 pm right outside the barn.

At 6 pm the corn maize turns into a haunted “field of screams” that the older kids might like. We can get a discount to this activity if we have 15 or more people interested. Please contact me to let me know if you want to do the “field of screams.”

COST: $25/family (2 adults + their own kids) or $12.50/adult
Includes admission to the square dance, all you can eat corn, 2 bracelets to the corn maze (kids under 6 are free to the maze, kids over 6 are $4), games, face painting and a costume contest with cool prizes by Klean Kanteen, Oaks Park and more!!

Buy tickets thru our store.

I sure hope so... the Daily OM

September 29, 2008
Social Interactions With Heart
Aries Daily Horoscope
You might find it easier to relate to other people today, particularly in social situations, and this could put you in a friendly and outgoing mood. This ability to interact with others may stem from your desire to put people at ease in social situations and make the time they spend with you much more interesting and treasured. One way to connect with people in an even deeper way could be to extend your love and compassion to them through metta, or loving-kindness meditation. While with others today you can wish that each person you encounter finds unlimited comfort and happiness. Offering your love to those around you in this way could smooth the progress of all of your interactions by making them not only fun and social but also meaningful and significant.

Through loving-kindness meditation, we can bring a more loving level of interaction to our social relationships. Even though it can be fun to go out and simply spend time with others in social situations, such relationships can also be one-dimensional. Being social, however, doesn’t mean having interactions that are only on the surface; we can also have connections that have greater meaning for us. Loving-kindness meditation is one such way to make our social interactions something that we can treasure, allowing us to share not only our sense of fun with others but our love and understanding as well. Relating to other people through your heart will infuse your interactions with openness and genuine pleasure today.

U.S. Kids Take More Psychotropic Drugs Than Europeans

Check out the link.

JOELLEN CHAMBERLAIN

JOELLEN CHAMBERLAIN Friday, September 26 4:41 p.m.
JOELLEN MARIE CHAMBERLAIN May 12, 1943 ~ Sept. 23, 2008

Joellen Marie Chamberlain was called home to be with the Lord on Sept. 23, 2008. She was born to Wilber D. and Ellen F. Gibson on May 12, 1943 in Los Angeles, CA. She moved to Vancouver, WA as an infant. She graduated from Hudson's Bay High School in 1961. Since then she has been a vital part of planning their class reunions. After having started her work career at Joe Brown's Cafe at the age of 15, she worked her way into a management position at Kentucky Fried Chicken, which she used as spring board to become the C.E.O. of Oregon Rail Federal Credit Union in Portland, OR where she retired after 25 years of dedicated service. Joellen was a member of the Vagabonds Skate Club. She was also a member of The Red Hat Society and attended many of their functions.

Joellen came from a very large family where it is a common belief that she was the binding thread between generations. She will be deeply missed by all.

Joellen is survived by her only son, Troy Sharp and wife, Shaun, of Vancouver, WA; her mother, Ellen F. Gibson, of Fremont, MI; sister, Cheryl K. Riley (Rick), of Wamic, OR; sister, Zanita V. Beecham (Jay), also of Fremont, MI; and two honorary daughters, Kimberly M. Sayer (Tommy) and Laura "Bead" Wellwood, both of Vancouver, WA. She was preceded in death by her loving husband, Jerome F. Chamberlain; her father, Wilber D. Gibson; and brother, David K. Gibson. A Celebration of Life will be held at Evergreen Staples Funeral Chapel at 10:00 a.m. on Friday, Oct. 3, 2008. At Joellen's request, a party will immediately follow, at the same location.

Blackberry Jelly!

My Mom came over today. All day today we (My Mom, Bill and I) made blackberry jelly from the blackberries that Bill and my Dad picked. I ended up mostly helping clean, organise and help the kids stay happy and Mataya get a nap. We have never canned before so it was a learning experience. Then my Dad came over and we all had dinner together. Will post pictures soon. Now to just figure out how to can more and do it without so much sugar.

How to Choose a Guardian for Your Child

http://www.parenting.com/article/Pregnancy/Relationships/How-to-Choose-a-Guardian-for-Your-Child

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-choose-a-guardian-for-your-child_1286759.bc

JUST TO CHEER ME UP!

CHRIS LEDOUX GREASTEST SINGER EVER!

Just a vent...

I just need to vent...

I am so fing tired of being treated like crap by my sister especially when I am trying to help. I just can't think of a NVC way to handle things right now and I just need to get the mad out.

I tried to call her to respectfully offer help with the whole pregnancy thing (offering to fix meals, clean her house, help with her 2 year old) and she gets off the phone quickly saying can I call you right back something happened to her two year old.

Does she call right back? NO so I wait. And then I call and leave a message and wait then I send an email and wait. My Mom has been trying for 2 days to get a hold of her... nothing. 24 fing hours later she send us an email. basically saying don't call me I'll call you. we are all OK!

I am just really tired of offering help to her because she has a high risk pg and then being treated like crap. You know if you don't want help then just say so just don't treat me like crap and then decide you want me at your every call to watch the 2 year old and say it is all because of the pg. She has been like this all our adult life so no nothing new here just tired of the crap and I feel like I need to be there for here and help her because of the pkd and high bp and possibly the pre-e.

I love her and I really wish things were different. I really wish we communicated better. I really hope nothing happens to her.

Unschooling

Sandra Dodd's collection of Unschooling Wisdom:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

Joyce Fetteroll's collection: JoyfullyRejoycing
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/

Discussion board: http://unschooling.info/

Great parenting wisdom from an Unschooling Dad, Scott Noelle:
EnjoyParenting http://www.enjoyparenting.com/ be sure to subscribe to
his Daily Groove

Discussion Group for Unschoolers (directed at experienced unschoolers
who want discussion, not support):
http://groups.google.com/group/UnschoolingDiscussion

Unschooling conferences: (both have discussion groups on yahoo, as well)
Live and Learn http://liveandlearnconference.org/
Life is Good http://lifeisgoodconference.com/

Unschooling Blog Ring: http://unschoolingblogs.blogspot.com/

Unschooling Voices-Unschooling Voices is a monthly collection of blog
posts on the topic of unschooling.
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.co...main-page.html


Magazines:
Connections-ezine of unschooling and mindful parenting
http://connections.organiclearning.org/

Life Learning Magazine-inspiring families around the world who learn
without schooling.
http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com/

Live Free Learn Free magazine-magazine for unschoolers and other
natural learners
http://www.livefreelearnfree.com/


Oh, and the newest! UnschoolingAmerica-Freedom To Learn With Liberty
and Justice For All
http://www.unschoolingamerica.com/

Christians can & do Unschool!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Chr-U/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unscho...ansinokcmetro/


And there's a big book called Christian Unschooling, by Teri Brown and
Alissa Wahl. You can do a "search" inside it on the Amazon site - just
click on the picture of the book to get to the search box.
http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/1891400223/ref=nosim

Here are some more - these all from the Natural Child Project:

Unschooling articles:
http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/learning.html

A pre-order for the "Unschooling Unmanual":
http://www.naturalchild.org/unmanual/

The Natural Child:Parenting From the Heart (book on attachment
parenting and unschooling):
http://www.naturalchild.org/book/

Parenting A Free Child: An Unschooled Life http://www.freechild.info/

Recommended Books for Unschoolers:

Albert, David Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery:
Aldort, Naomi Raising Our Children; Raising Ourselves
Aron, Elaine The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive
When the World Overwhelms Them

Berends, Polly Whole Child/ Whole Parent
Chapman, Gary and Ross Campbell The Five Love Languages of Children
Cohen, Lawrence Playful Parenting
Coloroso, Barbara Kids Are Worth It
Diamond, Patti Life Long Learning
Dyer, Wayne W. What Do You Really Want for Your Children?
Faber & Mazlish How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids
Will Talk

Faber & Mazlish Siblings Without Rivalry
Fitzenreiter, Valerie The Unprocessed Child: Living without School
Gatto, John Taylor Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of
Compulsory Schooling

Gordon, Thomas Parent Effectiveness Training
Greene, Ross The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding
and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

Griffith, Mary The Unschooling Handbook
Hirschman, Jane and Lela Zaphiropoulos Preventing Childhood Eating
Problems: A Practical and Positive Approach to Raising Children Free
of Food and Weight Conflicts

Holt, John Learning All the Time
Holt, John How Children Fail

Holt, John Instead of Education
Holt, John Escape From Childhood: The Needs and Rights of Children
Holt, John Teach Your Own
Holt, John How Children Learn
Hunt, Jan The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart


Juul, Jesper Your Competent Child: Toward New Basic Values for the Family

Kabat-Zinn, John and Myla Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of
Mindful Parenting

Kashtan, Inbal Parenting from the Heart
Katie, Byron Loving What Is
Kimmel, James What ever happened to Mothers (available online at
naturalchild.org)

Kohn, Alfie Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars,
Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes
Kohn, Alfie No Contest: The Case Against Competition
Kohn, Alfie Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and
Punishment to Love and Reason

Kranowitz, Carol Stock The Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping
with Sensory Integration Disfunction

Kream, Rue Parenting a Free Child
Kurcinka, Mary Raising Your Highly Spirited Child
Kurcinka, Mary Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles
Leo, Pam Connection Parenting


Luvmour, Josette Natural Learning Rythms: Discovering How and When
Your Child Learns

Rosenberg, Marshall Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
Rosenberg, Marshall Raising Children Compassionately
Smith, Frank The Book of Learning and Forgetting
Sweet, Bill and Win Living Joyfully With Children
Wallace, Nancy Child's Work

Is five too soon to start school?

Naomi's Reflections

One of the greatest causes of suffering is making choices from a place of attachment to a specific result. If I must have what I want I have no choice at all. No freedom. I am a prisoner of that attachment over which I have no control. I also miss on opportunities that lie outside these wants. For example if you planned a day in the sun on the beach and it is unexpectedly raining, you can be upset and teach wanting what isn't. Or you can spare yourself the pain by choosing and loving an indoor day that day. Your child will learn from you to flow with reality.

Children demonstrate to us the process of becoming attached and the pain it causes. Your child cries because he wanted to sit by the window on the train and there are no window seats. Or, he screams when the tower falls or the banana breaks. You stay calm. You have a larger view. You know she can to have a wonderful time either way. You know that however it is, is reality to cherish.
Be your own teacher. Borrow the "you" that knows to stay peaceful when that banana breaks or the tower falls. Borrow it for yourself, when you are the one displeased with your choice or with your child's choice of behavior; when you expect a different behavior, or a different outcome.

To borrow your peaceful equanimity you must learn to be peaceful first. Your child learns to want what isn't from your demonstrations. If you fall apart with your child's fallen tower or not having a window seat, then both of you drown together in painful emotional illusions. No one is out of the water offering a hand to the child if you go down with her. To assist her, stay out of the "water" by showing with your own behavior how to choose what is. Peaceful children have learned to flow with what is. Show her child how to choose freely; not by following the mind's dictatorship (I must have...) but by noticing reality and loving it.

"But, shouldn't I be proactive in creating my and my child's reality?" ask many parents. Yes, be proactive. Create, nurture, provide and prevent. And then when the results come in; choose what comes. You may enjoy it as is, or you may respond by making adjustments. Then again the next results come in and you respond peacefully and effectively because it is always the perfect result and propelling the next proactive step peacefully.

We create and then what comes is rarely what we intended. Being attached to our ideals of how things "should" be hurts and brings us stress and disconnection from our loved ones. "My child should sleep better," "she shouldn't grab the baby's toys," "he shouldn't hit" "he should listen to me..." are all expectations for reality to be other than how it is. When we follow these expectations we lose sight of reality and miss its beauty.

For example, if I believe that my child shouldn't hit, I lose sight of why she has a valid reason to hit. I can only help her when I find out what drives her to hit over which she has no control. I stop her hitting, but I don't scold her, rather I find a way to abolish the cause of her drive to hit. I choose love every single step of the way. I choose peace and I trust my child's innate wisdom to act on her own behalf.

©Copyright Naomi Aldort
With love,

Naomi Aldort

This is just.... GROSS!

Finding Another Vantage Point

September 16, 2008
Hidden Treasures
Finding Another Vantage Point
The ocean can look very different, depending on whether you are standing at the shore, soaring above in a plane, or swimming beneath its waves. Likewise, a mountain can look very different relative to where you are standing. Each living thing sees the world from its unique vantage point. While from your window you may be seeing what looks like a huge shrub, a bird in its nest is getting an intimate view of that tree’s leafy interior. Meanwhile, a beetle sees only a massive and never-ending tree trunk. Yet all three of you are looking at the same tree.

Just as a shadow that is concealed from one point of view is easily seen from another, it is possible to miss a fantastic view. That is, unless you are willing to see what’s in front of you through different eyes. Seeing the world from another perspective, whether spatially or mentally, can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures. The root of the discovery process often lies in finding another way of looking at the world. The common human reaction to insects is one example. Spinning its web in a dark corner, a spider may seem drab, frightening, and mysterious. But seen up close weaving silver snowflakes between the branches of a tree, they can look like colored jewels.

Sometimes, there are experiences in life that from your vantage point may seem confusing, alarming, or worrisome. Or there may be events that look insignificant from where you are standing right now. Try seeing them from another point of view. How does the situation look now? Try burying your face in the grass and looking at the world from a bug’s vantage point. Explore your home as if you were a small child. Take a ride in a small aircraft and experience the world from a bird’s eye view. Just as kneeling down or standing on a chair can help you find a lost object, so can seeing a broader or the more focused picture help you find wisdom or hidden treasures. In doing so, you’ll experience a very different world.

HAPPY BUG DAY!

Today we named bug day! Check out the link!

http://picasaweb.google.com/bandhsolutions/BugDay#

Green sprouts

We went to green sprouts fest. And Bill was so sweet to watch the kids so I could look around.

The Benefit of the Doubt

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Benefit of the Doubt ::

Have you ever been upset with someone for doing or saying something, only to realize later that you had misunderstood them, and you wished you'd given them "the benefit of the doubt"?

Truth is, everyone deserves that benefit, because ALL upsets are misunderstandings born of conditionality.

And no one deserves that benefit more than children.
The younger they are, the more their words and actions are merely "experimental," or rough approximations of things they've observed. They're trying to figure out how life works.

When you give them the benefit of the doubt (for example, by not taking it personally when they experiment with unkind words they've heard others use), children learn that their relationship with you is a safe place in which to grow.

And you benefit yourself, too, because you're doubting your "reason" for being upset. With no such reason, you're left with the simple pleasures of inner peace, heart-felt connection, and appreciation of Life's endless unfolding.

http://dailygroove.net/benefit-of-the-doubt

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Article I wrote for a Newsletter...

When I became a parent I started to question everything. None of the parenting books and websites out there felt quite right. They were full of advice that ran against my instincts - the cry it out method for sleeping, drugs for reflux, drugs for anything for that matter, timeouts for kids as they get older, labeling, fear, coercion, guilt, manipulation, shaming, threats, counting, charts, yelling, oh and spanking. None of this has ever felt right to do, so I started to research alternatives to find guidance on what was in my heart and my mind and what did feel right.

I would say our parenting philosophy is based on the belief that ALL people deserve to be treated with respect, including our children. With this in mind I think first about whether what I am going to do or say to my child is something I would do or say it to my Significant Other or my own parent? If the answer is no, then I try to think of a different way of doing things based in love and connection, working with them instead of against them.

I believe every moment with my children is a teaching moment. So what I do or say to my child, what I model for my child, is what they learn to do or say in return If I were to hit them, I'd be teaching them to hit when someone doesn't do as they want. Another example that just came up recently is “bad words”. Are they really bad words, and if they are, then why is it OK for adults to say them but not children? Would you wash an adult's mouth out with soap? No? Well then why wash a child’s mouth out with soap? Why not just not make a big deal out of it and give them a better word to use? I might say, “Yes, it is ok to be angry, but here is a better word than the word you used.” Our children are new on our planet, in our culture, and need a guide, not a jailer –I strive to teach them and support them rather than punish them! If I treat them with love and respect, then, over time, as they are developmentally able, I feel confident that they will learn to have love and respect for everyone, including themselves. Children have really big thoughts and feelings and they are very valid thoughts and feelings. I try to connect and understand and validate, rather than discipline or judge. A quick quote that has really stuck in my mind is, “connect before you direct” as said by Gordon Neufeld. That connection can make the need for traditional forms of discipline unnecessary, as true connection brings greater cooperation.

I also try to find the yes in everything even if the answer is “no”. For example, it is 8 at night and my son wants to go to the park. I first validate his thoughts and feelings of wanting to go to the park and then I say yes we can go to the park right after breakfast tomorrow. And I do follow through! If he says he wants to go right now then we talk about the park rules of being closed after dark and some safety ideas and also try to find an alternative thing that will fulfill the park need right then. When I am able to move past “yes” or “no” and to think outside the box, other solutions, much better solutions, tend to present themselves. I have found more creativity in myself in the last year than I thought I ever had. It is really refreshing and we all have more joyful days in our family than frustrating days.

Speaking of creativity or doing things differently I believe you really have to connect and get to know your child as an individual. Every child is different. One child may need more snacks or sleep than another child, another they may need more quiet time or really big spaces to feel free and move. It is all about being creative and finds ways for our children to be who they really are and not who we want or need them to be.

I find joy in my day with my kids even when they are fighting and screaming. Yes I do get on edge sometimes and even feel like I might lose it. But think of it this way - if I did not have kids there would be no sound of children - happy or sad. I truly believe that if everyone in our world prioritized connection and respect, rather than power and obedience, the impacts would be far reaching - there would be no war - instead there would be an abundance of peace and joy.

A Quote from Pam Leo on connected parenting, “Connection parenting is an ideal, a navigation star we can look to for guidance. Whenever we question how to respond to a child we can ask ourselves, will this response create a connection or a disconnection. We feel connected when we feel listened to and loved. We feel disconnected when we feel hurt and unheard.”

Here are some great websites that I have found very helpful.

http://www.connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/index.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/
http://www.awareparenting.com/english.htm
http://www.empathic-parenting.com/index_articles.htm
http://theparentingpit.com/alternative-parenting/
http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.html
http://www.gordonneufeld.com/
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html

Happy Birthday and Anniversary!

Happy Birthday Grandpa Owen! Happy Birthday Mom! Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

2 year check up

Took Mataya to the Dr. and she had her 2 year old well child check up. No shots. She is well! She is 35.5 inches tall and 29 lbs.

When did the world stop turning?

Do you remember where you were?

Bikes

The last two days Dylan has been going to the bike/skate park by our house and having a blast riding his bike in the bike park. It is so hard letting go. I love watching him ride and how much fun he is having. But I am a little concerned about all of that cement! He has already taken a few nasty spills but he just goes back for more.

Struggling School-Age Boys

Struggling School-Age Boys
A new study says parents are right to worry about their sons.

Peg Tyre
Newsweek Web Exclusive
Updated: 1:10 PM ET Sep 8, 2008
Every other week it seems a new study comes out that adds to our already-formidable arsenal of parental worries. But even by those escalating standards, the report issued last week by the federal government's National Center for Health Statistics contained a jaw-dropper: the parents of nearly one of every five boys in the United States were concerned enough about what they saw as their sons' emotional or behavioral problems that they consulted a doctor or a health-care professional. By comparison, about one out of 10 parents of girls reported these kinds of problems. (See the study here.)

The report confirms what many of us have been observing for some time now: that lots of school-age boys are struggling. And, parents are intensely worried about them.

What is ailing our sons? Some experts suggest we are witnessing an epidemic of ADHD and say boys need more medication. Others say that environmental pollutants found in plastics, among other things, may be eroding their attention spans and their ability to regulate their emotions.

Those experts may be right but I have another suggestion. Let's examine the way our child rearing and our schools have evolved in the last 10 years. Then ask ourselves this challenging question: could some of those changes we have embraced in our families, our communities and our schools be driving our sons crazy?

Instead of unstructured free play, parents now schedule their kids' time from dawn till dusk (and sometimes beyond.) By age 4, an ever-increasing number of children are enrolled in preschool. There, instead of learning to get along with other kids, hold a crayon and play Duck, Duck, Goose, children barely out of diapers are asked to fill out work sheets, learn computation or study Mandarin. The drumbeat for early academics gets even louder when they enter "real" school. Veteran teachers will tell you that first graders are now routinely expected to master a curriculum that, only 15 years ago, would have been considered appropriate for second, even third graders. The way we teach children has changed, too. In many communities, elementary schools have become test-prep factories—where standardized testing begins in kindergarten and "teaching to the test" is considered a virtue. At the same time, recess is being pushed aside in order to provide extra time for reading and math drills. So is history and opportunities for hands-on activities—like science labs and art. Active play is increasingly frowned on—some schools have even banned recess and tag. In the wake of school shootings like the tragedy at Virginia Tech, kids who stretch out a pointer finger, bend their thumb and shout "pow!" are regarded with suspicion and not a little fear.

Our expectations for our children have been ramped up but the psychological and physical development of our children has remained about the same. Some kids are thriving in the changing world. But many aren't. What parents and teachers see—and what this government study now shows—is that the ones who can't handle it are disproportionately boys.

Some researchers responded to last weeks' study by calling for more resources for more mental-health services for children—especially males. That's an admirable goal. But when nearly one in five boys has such serious behavioral and emotional issues that their parents are talking it over with their pediatrician, you can bet we are facing a problem that requires a more fundamental change in our society than medication or weekly therapy. Let's take a moment, before the school year gets any farther underway, and ask ourselves whether we are raising and educating our boys in a way that respects their natural development. And if we are not, let's figure out how we can bring our family life and our schools back into line.

This is one study that we ignore at our peril.

Peg Tyre is the author of "The Trouble With Boys: A Surprising Report Card On Our Sons, Their Problems at School and What Parents & Educators Must Do," which is being published this week by Crown, a division of Random House. She can be reached at www.pegtyre.com


URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/157898

Just helping

or so I thought! Remind me not to help grumpy old people that really don't want help anyway. Sad really just sad. I guess it is a fine line between being helpful without being asked and just waiting for people to ask for help when they really need it. That is all I will say for now on the subject.