Here is something I have been meaning to post...
From Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power, and joy by Naomi Aldort, Ph. D. Book Publishers Network, Bothell, WA 2005.
S--Separate yourself from your child's behavior with Silent Self-talk.
A--Attention to your child
L--Listen to what your child is saying or what his actions may be indicating, then listen some more. Make eye contact with your child and ask questions that would provide him with an opportunity to speak some more, or if the child expresses himself non-verbally, to let him know that you understand.
V--Validate your child's feelings and the needs he expresses without dramatizing and without adding your own perception.
E--Empower your child to resolve his own upset by getting our of his way and trusting him. Show confidence in his resourcefulness by not getting all wound up and by not rushing to fix everything.